Instead of Affirmations

As Published on Hedra News February 2026 Edition

By Aubrey E. Garcia LMT, Reiki Master

As I sit here looking for inspiration that uplifts and brightens someone’s day, a myriad of topics come to mind. Seeing that it’s the start of a brand-new year, I decided to write about affirmations. What are affirmations exactly? Self-help books and budding life coaches will tell you they are statements meant to direct the psyche toward a desired outcome or state of being. Phrases like:

• I am wealthy
• I flow through life with ease and clarity
• I am intelligent
• I am beautiful
• I have friends with whom I share mutual joy, genuine love, and respect

These are encouraging words, no doubt. They are well-intentioned. But for many people, especially those at the beginning of their healing, rebuilding, or awakening…affirmations can land sideways. Instead of lifting the spirit, they can trigger resistance.

If one is nowhere near the vicinity of peace, financial stability, or healthy relationships, repeating these phrases can feel dishonest. The nervous system knows it. The mind knows it. AND it will not hesitate to push back.

The mind will quickly chime in and reiterate the reasons why there is no wealth in the present moment. It will list the bills, the debt, the uncertainty. It will point out the people who seem ahead of you or the relationships that fell apart. It may even replay moments of rejection, failure, or shame to reinforce its argument.

The conversation often goes something like this:

Affirmation: “I am wealthy.”
Mind: “Oh yeah? Then why are you driving a rusty, old hooptie?”

And the mind isn’t doing this to be cruel. It’s doing what it was designed to do, which is to assess evidence and protect you from perceived falsehoods. This is why affirmations, while powerful tools, aren’t always accessible at the start of the journey. When there’s no tangible proof yet, the conscious mind has plenty of ammunition to sabotage the exercise.

So, the question becomes: is there another way in? Instead of stating affirmations, what if we asked? Questions invite exploration rather than confrontation. They bypass resistance and open the memory bank. They allow truth to surface gently and honestly.

For example, instead of declaring, “I am beautiful,” ask:
Why am I beautiful?

If you allow the answers to unfold without forcing them, the mind will respond. It may recall moments when someone complimented your presence, your kindness, your eyes, your laugh. It may point to resilience, to compassion, to the way you show up even when it’s hard.

Instead of, “I am wealthy,” ask:
In what ways am I already supported?
When have I been provided for before?

Instead of, “I have loving friendships,” ask:
Who in my life has shown me care, even briefly?
How have I shown up as a good friend myself?

Instead of, “I am confident,” ask:
When have I handled something difficult well?
What challenges have I already survived?

Instead of, “I trust myself,” ask:
When have my instincts protected me?
What decisions am I proud of making?

These questions don’t demand belief. They invite evidence. And evidence is something the mind respects.

What emerges from this practice is far more believable than rote repetition. The answers are affirming not because you’re trying to convince yourself of something new, but because you’re uncovering what is already true. This makes the process sustainable. It builds self-trust instead of bypassing it.

Over time, something interesting happens. The answers accumulate. The nervous system softens. The mind begins to cooperate. And one day, the affirmations that once felt hollow will land with weight and sincerity. Because now they’re backed by lived proof.

To tie it all in. Affirmations can be powerful, but they aren’t always accessible when the nervous system and mind lack evidence to support them. For many people, especially at the beginning of their journey, affirmations can trigger resistance rather than uplift. Asking questions instead of making declarations allows the mind to participate rather than rebel. Questions invite memory, truth, and proof which then create affirmations that are believable, embodied, and sustainable. Over time, this approach builds genuine self-trust and allows affirmations to arise naturally, grounded in lived experience rather than wishful thinking.